More On Republicans Getting Involved in Foreign Policy

Two from Andy Borowitz:

First up, Iran:

Stating that “their continuing hostilities are a threat to world peace,” Iran has offered to mediate talks between congressional Republicans and President Obama.

It's sweet that they would offer to do that. Maybe the Goopers will bake them a cake. Better bake one for Little Kim, too. He haz a sad:

The North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un said on Tuesday that he feels “snubbed” by the decision of forty-seven Republican senators to write a letter to Iran but not to him, the official North Korean news agency reported.

Unlike Borowitz, I believe this is not satire. Lindsey Graham's first action as president will to declare an autocoup.

And here's the first thing I would do if I were president of the United States. I wouldn't let Congress leave town until we fix this. I would literally use the military to keep them in if I had to. We're not leaving town until we restore these defense cuts. We are not leaving town until we restore the intel cuts.

The good news is that he may or may not have been speaking literally, depending on the meaning of literally.

Update: Graham's spokesperson has clarified to Bloomberg that when Graham said "I would literally use the military to keep them in if I had to," that statement was "not to be taken literally." Glad that's been cleared up.

I'm beginning to see why these people are wishing for the Rapture. It's just to quiet the voices in their heads.