Saturday, February 27, 2010

Those Were the Days


In reading about Jenny Sanford being granted divorce from Mark “Last Tango on the Appalachian Trail” Sanford, I couldn’t help but feel a bit of nostalgia. If not for those pesky liberals, Mark could have had Jenny committed to an institution (i.e. lunatic asylum) such as the one pictured above.

"In 1872 . . . if [a married woman's] husband had a mistress or if she had inherited money . . . he could bring her here," Lamb tells her guests. "He could sign her in and leave her until he decided to come back and get her -- or until she died, whichever came first."

These are the kind of conservative, Republican family values we need to return this country to. Jenny would have received the best of care at the lunatic asylum institute. And if Mark ever grew tired of playing gaucho on the pampas and came back for her, she would be the perfect wife.

Dr. Walter Freeman told her to wait; he just needed a few minutes with the patient. The young nurse had no idea that the doctor was the famous -- some would say infamous -- lobotomist who traveled around the country using an ice pick or similar tool to damage the brains of thousands of patients.
"She brought back the perfect patient. He would feed himself, dress himself [and] go to the bathroom by himself, but he would never have any emotions again."

Vote for liberals! The alternative could be an ice pick to the brain. You’re welcome, Jenny.

No comments:

Post a Comment