Here's one I really liked and it was on the same day as John Siebrecht's. This is from a junior humorless harpy of hate. I find it hard to believe that this 9 year old was precocious enough to have written this letter all on her own. Otherwise, I'd feel guilty about fisking it.
Dear President Obama,
My name is Julia Westfall. I am 9 years old. I go to school at Kensington Road School in Glens Falls, New York. I’m in fourth grade, and my class and I have had some thoughts. Wait! Please don’t put this letter down when you read this for this is important!
Don't listen Barack, it's a trap and you got better things to do than read letters from junior concern trolls.
We had a question while we were reading about the presidential election process and it was, “Can a Democratic president pick a Republican vice president?” They could, we found out, but they normally don’t.
They don't because Republicans are the spawn of Satan, Julia.
We believe if there’s a Republican president, then there should be a Democratic vice president, and vice versa.
Well, you're wrong. Get over it.
This class has ages in it that only range from 8 to 10 years old and we want to help our country, do you? Will you listen to us? We’ll give you examples. So listen.
You want to help the country? Study hard, if you pick your nose don't eat it and stop writing condescending letters to the leader of the free world.
If it was an actual law that Republican presidents had to choose a Democratic vice president and vice versa, then our country would be better off. If they had to work together, there'd be 10 less minutes arguing about parties!
Did your teacher promise you a magic sparkle pony for writing this letter. You must believe in those and Santa Claus, too. There ain't no Santa. Feel better? Oh, and your teacher is on her way to the secret re-education camps that Obama runs. And, if you're not careful you're getting a one-way ticket there yourself.
Back to the point about showing you examples. I said that because in school we learn to: share, be nice, cooperate, and don’t be mad about nothing! Do those rules only apply to children?
You're making me throw up in my mouth a little. Yes, they only apply to children and it doesn't work then either.
Because you’re fighting against Republicans for nothing! What I’m about to say goes for a lot of things ... a Democrat and a Republican working together will spark new ideas and solutions to problems. Don’t you want to help our country?
How did you pack so much wrong into just a few sentences? Are you related to Maggie Alitz or John Siebrecht? First, the president is not fighting against the Republicans for nothing. They are trying to create Hell on Earth and Barack Obama is taking stand against that. Second, there is not a Republican politician in this country who would consider working with BO on anything. Third, see the Hell on Earth thing.
We, my classmates, are this country’s future. After all, “U.S.” spells “us.” Ever thought of that?
Yes, I did know how to spell "us." But, what really scares me is the thought that you are the future of the country. Fortunately, I'm old enough so that I'm hoping to be dead long before they're crowning President Stefanik or worse yet, Funiciello.
Have you ever heard of a Democratic Republican? Thomas Jefferson got it right! That is a law I want you to pass.
Apparently, your mommy and daddy have been filling your little head with that Obama as dictator tripe. Read the Constitution, Sweetie. Or let Uncle Kevin help.